Advent Reflection | A Paradox (with Guiding Wisdom from Mother Teresa)

While I was out walking in the woods yesterday with my children, I watched a Great Blue Heron as he stood perfectly still at the edge of the icy pond. I talked to a man and woman who carried birdseed in a bag to feed the little woodland critters. Had I seen the big flock of hooded mergansers? They wanted to know. Had I seen the belted kingfisher?  Farther along the trail there was a little girl feeding crusts of bread to some coots. These moments of connection--with nature and with other people--light up my soul.

Lately, I have been thinking about one of life's paradoxes: our hearts often break for strangers yet remain unmoved towards the people who are near to us. We want to feed the hungry child in Cambodia; we want to send money to Haiti; we want to adopt the orphan in Romania; but, we won't give money to the cousin who just lost his job, or spend time with the lonely neighbor who perhaps doesn't have the best hygiene, or be a friend to the woman whose husband drinks too much. Why is that?  I can think of a few reasons:

• The first is that we consider people in faraway lands to be somehow innocent and undeserving of their hardships, whereas, the people near to us (we believe) have problems because of their own bad choices--isn't that right? 

In truth, everyone everywhere has problems and sorrows. Some of them are the result of circumstances beyond their control, some by circumstances within their control--but so far as I know, everyone makes bad choices sometimes. Our compassion for people in faraway lands would likely cool considerably if they were near to us. Mother Teresa said,  “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”  The sad reality is that there are people starving for love all around us.

She also said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

• The second is that we want to save the world, not our stupid neighbor, relative, friend.

A lovely, young Christian mother once shared with me how frustrated she was because she didn't know what God wanted her "to do" for Him. She loved God so much--and His hurting children in the world--that she wanted to do something BIG for Him. I told her, "But, He has called us to love our families and our neighbors, and we can't even do that!"

Mother Teresa said,  “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

She also said, "Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” 

•  The fourth is that we feel powerless to make a difference.

But, Mother Teresa admonished,  “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”

She also said,  “Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.”

• The third is that we worry about people taking advantage of us. We are wary of becoming anyone's doormat.

Unfortunately, if we won't risk being used, then God won't use us either.

Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

During this season of Advent I am reflecting on what it means to be a "light" in Christ. I am creating a list of disciplines to put into practice with everyone that God places in my path:

Smile often
Focus on the positive in people
Encourage others to try and do their best
Listen carefully to what people say
Take a genuine interest in other's lives
Be generous with my time and gifts
Forgive easily

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”  ~Mother Teresa